Today I woke up with a sense of dread. I had said something to my husband, which caused him to leave and I worried about it most of the night. I didn't sleep hardly at all. Worry DOES NOT and WILL NOT ever change anything.
The rest of the day was pretty calm. Peace returned after awhile. I was in the car waiting to attend my first ARP meeting. I made the comment that everyone responds to me in such a snippy way and I didn't understand why. My husband turned and looked at me and asked me if I was serious. He said that's the way I always respond to everyone. They were just doing what I was doing.
That really hurt. I didn't realize in daily conversation I was so caustic.
My first ARP meeting was awesome. It was great to start with prayer and to have people bearing their testimonies. It was neat to have a spiritual side to recovery, something I felt was missing from Al-Anon. The most important part of the APR meeting was that I have to work the steps. I can't just read them over. I need to answer and ponder the questions. I need to take an active part in my recovery. I can't expect Heavenly Father to do it for me.
It's been a good day. I have no crazy in my brain. Peace is wonderful.