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Day 11

posted Jul 25, 2016, 9:15 AM by Kelley Likes   [ updated Jul 25, 2016, 9:15 AM ]

My vacation is coming to an end. Usually that triggers a lot of drama, as I feel like I've usually annoyed everyone I love and everyone is grateful to see me leave. I don't think that's the case today.

I went to the temple with my daughter and my in-laws. It was an amazing experience. I was so grateful to be there. It was nice to just be, without 10,000 thoughts going through my head. I was able to sit and to what was being taught. I was able to absorb the information, in a way I had never done before.

Sitting there, I was thinking about how we all have trials. I used to think my trial was my husband. I now know my trial is codependency. It was like this ah-ha moment in my life. Why would my trial be someone else?

I feel like I'm on the right path and I need to be working the steps and moving forward. 

We spent a couple of hours walking around a 55 acre flower garden. Usually, this trip is frustrating. I would be thinking of all the stuff I needed to be doing. Today, I just enjoyed the beautiful flowers, fish, bees, bunnies, birds, humming birds, otters, and turtle. It was peaceful, walking along, holding my husband's hand. 

We talked a lot. Usually, I've said that a lot today, my normals aren't good normals. Usually our talking seems confrontational, full of accusations, and stressful. Today, as we strolled alone, we were able to just talk. It was nice. 

During dinner, I asked my husband to not have his electronics at the dinner table. He must not have heard me, so I said, something like, you should have that on the table. He got mad and made a comment about being controlling and codependent. It was really harsh and made me upset. I left and went for a walk. I was calm by the time I got home and he said it would have been nice if I'd asked instead of telling him. I told him I had asked, but it seemed like he ignored me. It was a discussion, not a fight. Usually, it would have been a fight. 

I'm grateful to not have so many of my usuals. Peace is wonderful.