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Day 10

posted Jul 25, 2016, 9:14 AM by Kelley Likes   [ updated May 23, 2017, 8:18 AM ]

Today I woke up with a sense of dread. I had said something to my husband, which caused him to leave and I worried about it most of the night. I didn't sleep hardly at all. Worry DOES NOT and WILL NOT ever change anything.

The rest of the day was pretty calm. Peace returned after a while. I was in the car waiting to attend my first ARP meeting. I made the comment that everyone responds to me in such a snippy way and I didn't understand why.  My husband turned and looked at me and asked me if I was serious. He said that's the way I always respond to everyone. They were just doing what I was doing.

That really hurt. I didn't realize in daily conversation I was so caustic. 

My first ARP meeting was awesome. It was great to start with prayer and to have people bearing their testimonies. It was neat to have a spiritual side to recovery, something I felt was missing from Al-Anon. The most important part of the APR meeting was that I have to work the steps. I can't just read them over. I need to answer and ponder the questions. I need to take an active part in my recovery. I can't expect Heavenly Father to do it for me. 

It's been a good day. I have no crazy in my brain. Peace is wonderful.